SENT MESSAGES



















To: ███████
From: You
Subject: Long time, no see.

Haha, it's been a while since I've messaged you like this... I hope you're not angry about it or anything. I just missed you a lot.


To: ███████
From: You
Subject: Helloooo?????

Did my last message get through? I hope it did. I've been sitting on this decision for a while. I'm sure you can guess what I'm talking about. I don't know... I just wanted your input before I did anything rash.


To: ███████
From: You
Subject: Overview

Ah... um... Well, I guess you won't be responding then. I know you're coming online though; I can see the little 'last seen' user thingy in the corner. It's okay if you don't want to reply though, but please don't block me. I just need to talk out the decision.

Okay. Where do I begin? I'll just brush over the basics, I guess. The pamphlet said the surgery will take up to twenty hours to complete—maybe more! To be honest with you, I’m pretty nervous about it, but I know I can trust the doctors. My doctor told me that after the surgery I probably won’t be able to feel most of my body, maybe only my eyelids. That’s fine too, I guess. Blinking has always been top of my priority list!

...I guess I understand why you don’t want to reply to me. It’s okay, you don’t have to agonise over it. I’d struggle watching a ███████ go through this too. Haha, I guess I’m pretty luck that I’m the ███████ instead then, right?

Ahh, forgive me. This has gotten really long. You have a tiny little phone screen, so I’m sorry for making you scroll.


To: ███████
From: You
Subject: Regret……………………….. ;_;

It’s late where you are, isn’t it? You should sleep... I used to worry so much about your sleeping habits.


To: ███████
From: You
Subject: Ok ok ok

Good night, sleep well. I'm always thinking about you. I hope you think about me sometimes too.


To: ███████
From: You
Subject: Last one!

It's so lonely without you here


To: ███████
From: You
Subject: OMG

It's been a couple of months since the surgery now. I was one of the lucky ones! Not only could I move my eyelids, but I also had the strength to control my entire left arm. Recovery now is going so-so, and I'm still living in the wards, but the nicer sector now. The big coffee stains from the ceiling aren't there anymore, and the doctors are all really nice to be around, not like last time. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I’m just so happy you got back in touch. I sthought I'd never hear from you again. Can I call you soon? Can you come and visit again? I'll even pay for the tickets! Yes yes, it's like I can hear you now, tellng me to calm down and give you a minute, and I am sorry. Iknow you're not comfortable with fast paced stuff, or when I'm talking a mile a minute. I'm sorry, okay? I'm just really happy.

I'll try and answer all your questions as best as I can. Li8ke I said, recovery is here and there. Right now, I'm pretty on-track with most things. I still can't move my legs, but I can bend and arch my back, as well as lift things up wth my left arm. Haha, there's a funny story about that. Right after surgery when I realizsed I could still move my left arm., the nurses wanted to see what level of capibility it had in it. They gave me a little plastic cup of water to see if I could hold it, but lo and behold, I couldn't! It was very shameful to be honest. If I had the power, I would make it so I never spilt water over myself in hospital in front of all the nurses ever again. Oh, but on the topic of recovery, it's fine. Maybe you noticed the typos and stuff in this message, but ther'es actually twor easons for it. One- I'm typing very quickly because I want to send this email to you as fast as possible! I'm worried you'll look at your emails and not see a reply from me and give up, but that's not what I want at all! I want to reply fast so next time you see it, whether that's tomorrow or two years, you'll know I care. Also, my recovery is uneven in places. I have strength in my left arm and I can type with my left hand, but not in my right hand! I can only move two fingers on there (my pinky and my index), so it's sort of hard to type. I hope you can eread this anyway.

Ummm. I'd li8ke to tell you something. The nurse told me to think fo a happy memory before surgery, and I thught of you. I'm sure you could have guessed that though. I just really wanted to tell you about it. Have you had any surgery recently? Did you think of me too? I thought about when you came to visit me on the train, but due to heavy snow, the train was delayed for over a week. I remembered how I sat in the train station ever day after school, waiting to see if your train would come in... I ate little meals that the station shop keeper would donate to me. Warm bread with a slice of meat, or baked goods that didn't sell out that day.

Next time you should come in the summer. The river looks beautiful under the evening sunset. I;ll send you a picture one day. My hospital room has a really nice view of it.